Interesting!

     If the freedom of religion guaranteed to us by law in theory can ever rise in practice under the overbearing inquisition of public opinion, truth will prevail over fanaticism, and the genuine doctrines of Jesus, so long perverted by his pseudo-priests, will again be restored to their original purity.  This reformation will advance with the other improvements of the human mind, but too late for me to witness it. (Thomas Jefferson in a letter to Jared Sparks dated  November 4th, 1820)

     Mr. Jefferson died July 4, 1826

     The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was organized June 6, 1830

Hello

"Hello my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!"

I'm Thankfull fur...

Aside from the usual things that people are thankful for I thought I would make a partial list of things that I'm thankful for that some may not think of or otherwise may over look.  There will most likely be some standard things in there too.

• Marring my wife (The smartest thing I have ever done and the stupidest thing that she has ever done.)
• Chocolate milk
• socks
• front wheel drive
• toast
• Rock music
• tee shirts
• hats
• beef
• art
• books
• spring
• springs
• friends
• beds
• rubber bands
• electricity
• scissors
• window scrapers
• heat
• couches
• mayonnaise
• friction
• spatulas
• deodorant
• zippers
• talent
• cats (most the time)
• metal
• doors
• carpet
• tooth paste
• paper
• air
• buttons
• cloth

And much more.  I need to gussy up for our dinner at WyoGrannies so I will end this.

THANK YOU!

Proof of life

Update

Hi, I'm back.  Not much has been going on but I thought I would catch up on what has been happening.  I came home from work yesterday and noticed a few things weren't in the same place they used to be.  In the boys room the lower bunk was missing and furniture was moved in it's place.  I went down stairs and noticed that the freezer had turned into a bed and a pile of cloths in my bedroom had turned into a freezer.  Now before you join the Olympic conclusion jumping team let me assure you that Wife continues to sleep in the same room with me.  Once Wife got home it was made clear to me that Sparky had moved down stairs to the laundry room and much of our food storage and the freezer was sent seeking other lodgings.  The impetus for this is an attempt to restore (establish) domestic tranquility. 

 It seems that G-man and Sparky have this love/hate relationship much like Nelsen and Bart Simpson.  Sparky is exhibiting what we might call "beaten wife syndrome" and G-man is exhibiting what I call "turd bucket syndrome".  So as a reward G-man gets the room to himself and Sparky has to live like Jared in "The RM".  I did however mention to G that he is now the only one sleeping upstairs now.  This had a somewhat sobering effect on him.  We will try this arrangement for a time and see if the situation improves.

The 13 Articles of Fake (or A Liberals Game Plan)

1. We believe in the earth, animals and in our own intelligence.
2. We believe that Whites should be punished for their own sins and also for slave owners transgressions.
3. We believe that through government intervention that all mankind can be collectively saved by obedience to the laws and regulations we establish.
4. We believe in the first four principals and requirements of government are: first taxes, second entitlements, third redistribution of wealth, and fourth the handing out of favors to our cronies.
5. We believe that man must be appointed by a committee by those who are the smartest to determine such things.
6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the Soviet Union namely, Administrators, dictators, directors, workers, overseers, and so forth.
7. We believe in the gift of Medicare, Medicaid, Health care, welfare, amnesty, activist judges, and so forth.
8. We believe the Communist Manifesto to be the word of the people, we also believe Rules for Radicals to be the word of man.
9. We believe all that man has dreamed up, all that he does now dream up, and that he will yet dream up many great and important things pertaining to the suppression of man.
10. We believe in the literal warming of the planet and the restoration of the Socialist system, that Utopia will be built on this the American continent, that Obama will reign personally upon the earth.
11. We claim the privilege of worshiping nature according to the dictates of the Sierra Club and P.E.T.A. and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where and what we say.
12. We believe in you being subject.
13. We believe in doing what ever it takes to get what we want; indeed we may say we follow the admonition of Carl (Marx)-- we pervert all things, we hope for change, We have changed many things and we plan on changing all things.  If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy we make fun of those things.

Stream of unconsciousness

Man I'm glad for spell check it makes me so much more intelligent sounding.  I mean I just had to spell check intelligent for Pete's sake.
Does anybody want a dog?  I'll even through in a nice blue leash!  Angus woke us up last night at 2:00 AM to let us know that there was a skunk in the near vicinity.  You would think that the smell of a surprised skunk would have been enough to wake us up but, No... the smell and the barking however closely related made for a fine method of getting our attention.  Funny thing though, it only smelled of skunk in our downstairs hall and our automobiles.  The dog seems quite fresh smelling... as far as dogs can smell fresh.
Mom has been watching Sparky in the afternoons between when he gets out of school and I can pick him up.  I have been getting after-work snacks and the chance to watch Sponge-Bob Squarepants so it is a good deal all around.
Sparky just asked if we could go fishing tomorrow.  He is quite into fishing just now.  Glen has taken him many times this summer and they both seemed to like it.
Hol had to renew her learners permit for driving because she lacked about five of the 50 hours required for her intermediate licence.
Seriously, does anyone want a dog?  He is barking again and that's OK for now but we have a down-the-street neighbour that likes to remind us on a regular basis that there is a town ordinance prohibiting dogs from barking between 10:00 PM and 6:00 AM.  She should show the ordinance to Angus and see if that does the trick in stopping his barking.
'Leenie just came in the house screaming because she was in the "play house" and apparently had a run in with G-man's model paints.  She is quite upset that there is paint on her pants.  I hesitate to go to the play house and view the redecoration.  I just hope G-man is understanding of the potential loss of painting supplies.
Speaking of G-man he has gone "up the canyon" on an over night camping trip with the scouts.  The weather here has been rather good so he should stay rather warm.  I do worry some because he has been growing up with a kid who I refer to as "Damian the Penguin" for reasons that I will leave to your theatrical imaginations.  This young man (the son of a well known resident) has the look of a soon to be archenemy of Batman.  He was even friends with G-man for a time until the light came on in my sons mind.  I think it was when G-man was invited up to play and ended up "helping" The Penguin do his chores while Damian watched.  I'm probably too hard on the little turd and he will either grow up to be some successful dude or some type of mass mayhem provider or both.
There I go again, I thought I had spelled "meyhem" correctly but it was not to be.
Facebook is definitely killing my blogging.  It is much easier to type a few snarky lines on someone Else's "Wall" than it is to sit and compose an entire entry.
Mom gave us a frozen lasagna for out dinner tonight.  She keeps talking about how much she relates to Wife teaching school and what hell it was doing so.  Mom really is great, she tries so hard to help out by getting Wife clothes for school and watching Sparky and providing snacks and dinner.  I wish I could stand being over at her house more.  Glen was with his buddy out in the shed building ammunition and B.S.ing so we were able to sneak in some time with mom.
Seriously do you think I could ever spell "lasagna" right with out spell check?
I have been working... OK thinking about a project that I call for lack of a better term a "family bush" it involves 1.5" square aluminum plates and chain.  If I ever get it working I'll have to explain it better.  It has the potential of being a commercial venture but it would have to be priced and marketed right and even then may be too weird for the general public.  Let's just say it's like a 3D family group sheet.
Thanks for sticking with this entry.  You should be awarded some sort of prize for reading this.  The "I'll-never-get-those-minutes-back" prize.
Well the lasagna is ready so.

A GEO-ing we go

We went Geo caching today.  It was nice to get out and about with the family.

We went to Turnerville and SV Ranch and up some of the canyons there.

We traded for some fairly nice swag and had a rather good time of it.

We didn't have the oldest along with us because he was allergic.

We don't know just what he is allergic to but he stayed home.

We didn't go to all the caches that I had written down but

We did get to six of them and found a total of five.

We are glad that it is a three day weekend.

We are trying to get the Blazer fixed.

We don't want lots of little Blazers.

We can't get rid of.

We are trying.

We are.

We

Just wondering

Is "wet" a verb or an adjective in this case?

?

Will the Blazer ride again?  If Linc has anything to do with it, it will.

It's this Sunday

HI

The American Dream

The concept of "The American Dream" has been around for some time now but what does it really mean?  I can't answer that for you but I can answer it for myself.  My version of the American dream is this.  I have been born in the country that may be the most free that ever existed in the history of this world. I am able to live where I want and if I don't like it I have a better than fair chance to move where I would like.  I had the chance to get as much education as I wanted in the area I wanted.  I was able to marry who I wanted where I wanted.  I live where I want to, I have as many children as I want, I come and go where I want.  I can express my opinion with out worrying that I will be thrown in jail or shot.  I am free to be as ambitious or as lazy as I feel and if I don't have as much money as I think I should have it's because I choose not to work harder.  I have four cars and two of them work and I can fix the other two if I have the means to do it.  I can listen to the radio station I choose (even though the Country stations come in clearer).  The only things holding me back are the freedoms I have allowed to be taken away from me and my own natural abilities and efforts.  If I fail I should be allowed to suffer the consequences, if I succeed I should be allowed to keep the fruits of that success.  Granted many of the freedoms I enjoyed as a kid have been limited or taken and to an extent that is my own fault and the fault of my fellow countrymen.
In short the American dream for me is that I have choice; the choice to succeed or fail, worship God or curse Him, move or stay, work or starve, follow or lead, keep my freedoms or sell them for false security.
The American dream for me is not a new car, a Mcmansion or fame.  It is freedom!
I want the American dream.

a partial list

At work I get the chance to think about stuff from time to time and I got to thinking about what a guy should know and know how to do.  So along those lines here is a partial list that I came up with.

A guy should know how to:

• drive a manual transmission
• wire a light switch or a wall plug
• cook bacon
• throw a football
• respect women
• change the oil in a car
• apologize
• unclog a sink
• tie a tie
• do his own laundry
• parallel park
• use jumper cables
• cook a hamburger
• hug his sons
• change a tire
• balance a check book
• work
• shoot a gun
• clean a gun
• open doors for women
• burp real loud
• get grubby
• kill spiders
• use a circular saw
• tell his kids he loves them

A guy should NEVER...

• have a dog smaller than a cat (unless it's his wife's)
• take your own bag to the grocery store (unless your wife makes you)
• answer questions such as "Does this make me look fat?"
• prance
• have his hair "done"
• admit he doesn't understand football
• giggle
• be mean
• wear Capri's
• ask for directions
• cross his legs- knee over knee
• say "eew!"
• "run like a girl"
• take himself too seriously

It's Ok for a guy to:

• cry for a good reason
• hold his wife's purse "for a minute"
• look up directions
• wear pink (within reason)
• have a tea party with his little girl
• admit when he's wrong
• like crafts
• change a diaper
• read the instructions

I'm a man but I can change, if I have to, I guess. -the man's prayer- Red Green

Some mornings

Is this the death of the blog?

Fie on Facebook.  I think it will kill our bloging to one another.  Thou electronic mind-numbing time-thief!

Another one of those things

Bucket List..... from hillbilly sis.


(X ) Shot a gun {one or twice}

(X) Gone on a blind date

(X ) Skipped school

( ) Been to Canada

( ) Been to Alaska

( ) Been to Cuba

( ) Been to Fiji

(X ) Been to Europe

(X ) Been to Las Vegas

( ) Been to Mexico

(X) Been on a plane

( ) Been on a cruise ship

( ) Served on a jury

(X) Been lost

(X) Been on the opposite side of the country

( ) Gone to Washington, DC

(X) waded in ocean

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

(X) Played cops and robbers

(X) Played cowboys/girls and Indians

(X)Recently colored with crayons

(X) Rode a motorcycle
( ) Sang Karaoke

(X) Paid for a meal with coins only?

( ) Made prank phone calls

(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Danced in the rain

(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus

( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(X) Watched the sunrise/sunset with someone.

( ) Blown bubbles

(X) Gone ice-skating {does maintaining an ice rink count?}

(X) Gone snow skiing

(X) Camped out under the stars.

(X) Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away?

(X ) Are or have been Married?

(X ) Children?

(X) Have a Pet?

(X) Been skinny dipping

(X) Stayed up playing cards till morning

( ) ultra-lighting

(X) Been fishing

(X) Been boating

(X) Been water skiing

(X) Been Canoeing

(X) Been hiking

(X) Been horse riding {once or twice}

(X) Been camping in a trailer/RV

(X ) Flown in a small 4 seater airplane puddle jumper?

( ) Flown in a glider

( ) Flown in a helicopter

( ) Been flying in a hot air balloon

( ) Been bungee-jumping

(X) Gone to a drive-in movie

(XX) Done something that should have killed you

(X) Done something that you will probably regret for the rest of your life.

1. Any nickname: Ray

2. Your favorite drink? milk

3. Body piercing? Not on purpose.

4. Tattoos? See #3

5. How much do you love your job? Like job, boss… not so much.

6. Birth place? Hospital

7. Favorite vacation? Honeymoon

8. Ever sang a baby to sleep? Yes

9. Ever been on TV? nope

10. Ever eaten cookies for supper? Yup

11. Ever stole any traffic signs? Does taking one that your roommates stole count?

12. Ever been in a car accident? yes

13. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? yes

14. Favorite number? 42 (the answer to the ultimate question)

15. Favorite Movie? Princess Bride

16. Favorite Holiday? Christmas

17. Favorite dessert? dessert

18. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? here

19. Furthest place you will send this message. The web
20. Sang in front of a crowd? yes

21. Talked over 20 minutes in front of a crowd larger than 100 people? yes

Track results

Well both Linc and Holl went to state track this week and here is the results of that trial.

• Holl - high jump - tie for 10th - 4'10"
• Linc - discus - 14th - 118'2"
• Linc - shot put -11th - 43'5.5"

No personal records but I think a decent showing.  The Lady braves got the VERY FIRST 4A state title in any sport by winning in track.

High school band concert

I just got back from Holl's end of year concert.  It was real nice mostly because we figured out the secret to concert going.  First off after five years of concert going with the current band director as the organizer we have learned a few things.  For one thing we came an hour later than the start time.  This got us there just a few minutes before Holl played.  It also got us a nicer parking place because someone left early.  It lasted for yet another hour however.  We found some seats by Wyogranny and could feel the hatred of the fellow sufferers who had been there from the beginning.  Once again the somewhat larger flute player sat with her back to the audience and obscured Holl but I learned to sit to the left so as to get a better view of the one I came to watch in the first place.  I also got to hear Niece's orchestra.  I was once again reminded of the degradation of manors in public places.  I actually saw a kid walk down the aisle carrying a basketball.  Also even after the lights were turned off there was a electric greenish glow from all phones and cameras and camcorders.  I am safe in saying that at any time during the concert someone was walking around in the auditorium.  Have I ever mentioned that I hate people?  That is to say I am disgusted with the general attitude and actions of people in groups larger than say... 15.  I am sure that to others I am part of the problem but at least I try to avoid contact with large groups as much as possible.  It renewed my soul to hear the last number.  It was The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the entire music department participated which included the band, the orchestra, the chorus and all the other music groups in the school.  I was happy to see that the song was still allowed to be preformed in public.

My list of favorite words

• Kumquat
• insipid
• fie
• moist
• zoom
• shrubbery
• plavix blossom (family joke)
• myth
• sloop
• averse
• snort
• trigonometry
• banana
• surfactant

It's after 10:00 PM and I have been up since 5:15 AM so this is going to have to be just a partial list.

How Liberty Dies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo8BnGfEP7o&NR=1



Darth Obama

Hillbilly questionair

Hillbilly sis e-mailed or rather re-mailed it to me so instead of doing the e-mail thing I thought I would just do this.  Hence the somewhat weird questions.
1. What color are your socks right now? flesh

2. What are you listening to right now? My son talk in his sleep this computer buzzing and the little yippy dog across the street.

3. What was the last thing you ate? pickle

4. Can you drive a stick? yes and a broom too.

5. Last person you spoke to on the phone? neighbor

6. Do you like the person who sent this to you? no, love!

7. How old are you today? older that I was yesterday, thank goodness.

8. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? football

9. What is your favorite drink? caffeine-free Mountain Dew

10. Have you ever dyed your hair? not on purpose.

11. Favorite food? lasagna

12. What is the last movie you watched? Fun and Fancy Free

13. Favorite day of the year? Anniversary

14. How do you vent anger? poorly

15. What was your favorite toy as a child? What ever Alleen and I made in the ranch shop.

16. What is your favorite season? Spring

17. Cherries or Blueberries? What about them?

18. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? sometimes

19. Who is the most likely to respond? respond to what?

20. Who is least likely to respond? see #19

21. Living situation? just barley

22. When was the last time you cried? I was paid last Friday

23. What is on the floor of your closet right now? don't know, can't see it (the floor)

24. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? N/A

25. What did you do last night? sleep
26. What are you afraid of most? as if I'll tell you

27. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese on a hamburger is a cheeseburger, spices on a hamburger other than ketchup is a gourmet hamburger but the key word here is hamburger!  Just keep the rabbit food off please.

28. Favorite dog breed? Just what are you suggesting?

29. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

30. How many states have you lived in? 4 in the U.S. 3 in the Netherlands

31. Diamonds or pearls? Wha?

32. What is your favorite flower? tulip

33. What is you favorite wild animal? Elk, there yummy!






PS. I have added another word to my favorite words list: fie

'nuff said

An open letter to Mr. Coppins

McKay Coppins writes a blog for Mormon times and he recently wrote one intitled "the Glenn Beck problem".  This is my e-mail to him in response.

Mr. Coppins,

I read with interest your blog about Mr. Beck. I would like to ask if in your busy day you have the time to listen to Mr. Beck or you are simply going by what others have told you. I listen to Mr. Beck when driving home from work and have found that he doesn't use "hateful rhetoric", "fear-mongering", "conspiracy theorizing", nor is he a "dangerous" or "radical fringe" unless you classify someone who wants to return the government of the United States to the limits that are set forth in the Constitution as such. Mr. Beck is at his center an entertainer and will try to get his point across in an entertaining way. Perhaps people "under 40" haven't learned the subtleties of sarcasm and irony and are there for offended by what Mr. Beck says. If trying to inspire the people of this country to have honor, integrity and honesty offends. If asking people to stand up for what they fundamentally believe in is radical. If promoting Faith, Hope, and Charity bothers you and your fellow "young Mormons". Then I would submit to you that perhaps there needs to be offense taken. I have heard it said that many people try to please God while not offending Satan. While I'm not suggesting that you or any "young Mormons" are sinning by opposing Mr. Beck I would humbly submit that perhaps you (the collective you) may want to listen to Mr. Beck and those who think as he does with more of an open mind and perhaps he will appear less of a hate-monger and may indeed have a point. I know that controversy makes for good ratings but so will trying to speak truth (as a glance at Mr. Becks ratings will show). Try not to ride other peoples coat tails to popularity.

With respects

Garrison the Conservative

Today I heard a new definition of conservative.  I thought I would let Mr. Keillor speak for himself.

"It's the conservative in me that wishes we had an old-fashioned government jobs program, such as FDR's Works Progress Administration, which hired unemployed people to work to build roads, libraries, public toilets, hiking trails, tens of thousands of small useful projects."

My italics added.

I didn't know that one of the biggest Progressive/Socialist presidents our nation has ever endured was such a conservative.  I guess it's all a matter of perspective.

Easter in Wyoming

Easter in Wyoming is a rather unique event.  First off it's not the Easter bunny it's the Easter Jackalope.  Second, the eggs aren't dyed different colors they are just left white.  It's easier to hide them outside that way.  Wyo Gran got home in time for us to have our in the library Easter egg hunt but since the Southern contingent of her family wasn't present there were only four seekers (G-man made up the forth) and mostly unimaginative hiders.  Also Glen was boycoting the procedings for some reason.  Fun was had by many.  Mostly the younger ones so that's all that really matters.  It was great to have the boys from Twolee up even though we didn't get much talk time.  mini-Elmer stayed with us Friday night and the tres hombres had a good time.  Hol is back from her trip and is still friends with her BFF next door.  The next big event is the Elderwood derby Friday and I hope it goes well.  G-man has a 7.5 lb. car and Sparky has a 10 lb. car.  We will have to see how it goes.  Last time it was poorly attended but those present had fun.

What's weather got to do with it?

I was just looking at some news items and ran across this statement.  "Weather has nothing to do with climate."  This was an article about how the Germans no longer believe in man caused climate change since they have just been through a bad winter.  For the author of this article I offer this definition of "climate" from a dictionary written before the world went completely insane:  "The prevailing or average weather conditions of a place, as determined by the temperature and meteorological changes over a period of years."  Wow!  we are being told black is white and white is black.  Orwell was right he just got the year wrong by 26 years.  Sorry for the misspellings, for some reason my blogger site doesn't have a spell check icon.

Scattered

We are going to be scattered to many places for awhile.  4 to Kasper one to SoUt and the remainder to hold down the fort.  Wyogran is going to Cal as well.

Boats dad was on

These are pictures of some of the ships dad was on during the war.

We need God's help!

I think we need to do more than call our congressmen this time.  I for one will be fasting for the Lord's intervention in behalf this country.  The vote on "Health care reform" will take place at about 11:00 AM our time Sunday.  I plan on fasting starting Saturday for God's intervention in this abomination of a bill.  I encourage all who can to join me in this.  May God bless America!

a letter to my "nephew" in New York City

My good friend Robert asked me to write his son that is on a mission to the Chinese speeking people in New York City.  This is the result of that request.

Fun with bikes in Europe

Many articles have been written about the fun and all around enjoyment of riding a bike in Europe. There have been countless innocent trees sacrificed in the disseminating of near nirvana-like descriptions of the joys of pushing a fifty pound mechanical marvel about the idyllic country side. Gallons of ink have been pressed into service to try and capture on paper the transcendence that is bicycling in Europe. However, this isn’t one of those articles.


I met him innocently enough, I was the innocent one. I was in need of a “fiets” that is a bike. My greenie buster took me to the local bike store and helped me pick out a shinny black one speed that was lovingly referred to as a “ompa fiets” or grandpa bicycle. I got the ever so stylish canvas saddle bags and a tire pump that fit nicely along the frame. The tire pump lasted a grand total of three minutes after I walked away from the bike the first time. The saddle bags lasted for the duration and served well as bookmobile, grocery bag and suitcase. Having been taken from the mountains of Wyoming and placed on the tidal flats of Holland, I promptly christened the noble steed that would ride me to more baptisms that Orson Hyde in England, “Festus”.



After the realization that I wasn’t in Kansas any more or Wyoming for that matter, I felt it prudent to make Festus as unappealing as possible so as to discourage the friends of whoever felt that I didn’t need my pump anymore from making away with anything else that might be loose on my bike, like the peddles. Festus served me well and managed to not be stolen so I would like to think that my cunning strategy worked. Another theory may be that no one was tall enough to reach the peddles and also sit on the seat at the same time or at least no one of a nefarious mind. The original seat lasted but a short time. I came into possession of a bike seat that was perhaps designed by either a deranged monk or an evil anti-Mormon determined to lessen the future generations of Mormons by such a seat design. It had a large spring of approximately two inches in diameter in the front and two wires slinking back to the clamp that held it to the bike. There was a “seat” that was perhaps five inches wide that was intended to support a much wider “seat” that I was blessed with. The whole “system” was covered on the top with a thick slab of leather. My original seat, bike that is, was just fine but for some reason this other seat was placed into service. At certain times, such as when my feet slipped off a peddle, I leaned toward the evil anti-Mormon theory as well as leaning toward my handle bars.

There was a saying there in the low countries among the seekers of truth seekers; “there are two kinds of missionaries, those that have had wrecks on their bikes and those that are going to have a wreck on their bike.” I was a member of the latter for but a short time. I must point out that this was the early 80’s and the notion that missionaries needed to wear bike helmets was not even thought of at least not by me.



The occasion of my first meeting with the pavement was after a district meeting. We were biking back to our apartment from the church and I was riding along side of an elder from another companionship. For some reason that my mature mind can not recall now I had the urge to grab the handlebar of the elder riding beside me. Not wanting to let a fine opportunity to cause mayhem go to waste he grabbed my handlebar. We proceeded down the bike path in this rather precarious manner for a short distance until my rather slow and inexperienced brain decided that this wasn’t the safest of ways to travel. I gently and politely lifted my hand from his handlebar. Elder Van Rij perhaps not having as fine a sense of peril as I decided that he would pull himself ahead of me by pulling on my handlebar. This was something I had not anticipated. Physics being what it is and gravity having at times a nasty habit of being constant determined to teach us both a lesson in action/reaction that I will have to get Alzheimer’s before I forget. The result of him pushing off of my handlebar caused my front tire to turn at right angles to the bike path. This not being the normal state for a wheel on motion, it decided to try going end over end. The net effect of the wheel trying to go end over end gave the whole bike the idea of trying to do a summersault as well. I figured that since my bike was attempting to summersault I might as well join it. The result of all this physics being that I found myself resting on the bricks watching my bike try to fly. They should make tanks out of the material that they make missionary suits with; the enemy could never get a shell through a foot of Swedish Knit.



On another occasion that manages to seep to the forefront of my gray matter, I was relaxing for a bit with three other Elders and we were at a small park. There was a small concrete area that resembled a giant tin plate that was punched in the middle then set into the ground much like a shallow funnel. This I suppose was the municipalities idea of a skate park circa late 70’s Europe. Well this particular piece of doggie bathroom had a nice tall hedge of bushes not far from the cement Chinese hat sunk upside down into the near mud that is Dutch soil. The four of us were happily spinning and swerving about the aforementioned hard spot when it so happened that two of us through a series of bobs and weaves found ourselves vectored toward each other. Being the faster reacting or slower witted of the two, I put Festus into evasive maneuvers. These maneuvers proved successful in avoiding certain death by head on but also put me into the path of the on coming hedge. I entered the hedge at a respectable rate and sunk in to the back wheels while getting a right good whipping from the individual branches of said hedge. I must have been somewhat unsavory that day because after running the gauntlet of sharp pointy twigs the hedge spit me out like Muslim eating a ham sandwich. The net result being that I found myself fully clear of the hedge. Now having just gotten a rather rude slap in the face by some Dutch shrubbery I must not have been firing on all my reaction cylinders because I just hung there for a moment as if I were a picture of a missionary on a bike. Then as if I suddenly found myself trapped in a silly slapstick comedy I slowly fell over onto the wet green and brown goo that passes as lawn in a country that would gladly export water and dog doo to whoever would be willing to pay shipping.



Another incident that didn’t actually happen to me but I witnessed personally or else it was told to me so vividly that I have convinced myself that I witnessed it personally, was watching an Elder nearly become road kill. It all started out innocently enough, we were going to the grocery store for some chow. This particular establishment was at placed on the map in such a way that it was situated along the road where another road intersected it. That is to say it was at a “T” intersection and was at the top of said “T” where the two lines meet. OK, enough with the geography lesson. Elder, lets call him Andersen, because that was his name, was biking along on what would be the lower left of the T cross bar when he decided to turn to get to the store. He forgot to mention this to the little car that was following him just to his left. He executed a beautiful left turn directly in front of a native and his trusty little European sedan. I do recall seeing Elder Andersen on the hood of this poor little automobile still clutching his bike in a death grip looking for all the world like some stuffed display in Dr. Murrow’s trophy room. The occupant of this little tin golf cart after getting a close up view of the back of Elder Andersen’s head decided that the best course of action at that point would be to apply firm pressure to the braking system peddle. Elder Andersen now having suddenly gained lateral motion instead of his intended forward motion continued on down the road for some distance without the cushion of the hood to shield him from the quaint cobblestone road he was just then skipping down on his side. Once friction caught up to everyone I saw Elder Andersen some fifteen feet ahead of the hapless vehicle still holding his bike as if he would suddenly come across a vertical surface and simply ride away. I started rehearsing in my head as I stopped my bike and went over to Elder Andersen just what I would tell the mission president and his next of kin when he jumped up and after a quick trial of his legs walked his bike to his original destination. The somewhat shaken driver got out and after finding out that his former hood ornament would be ok went to examining his car hood. He found a scrape and a slight dent where the handlebar tried to exact revenge. There was no lasting damage to the elder but the frame to his bike was bent into the beginnings of a cool lightning bolt shape. This caused his bike to go down the road in a manner that closely resembled the way a bulldog might follow his master. So far as I know he road his bike that way for the rest of his mission.



Festus served me well and faithfully those sixteen months I was “in country”. He served as transport for me as well as all my earthly possessions on transfer day. He also moved groceries, books, luggage, and the contents of an apartment; including a bed, mattress and all. He was my constant companion when outdoors, waiting patiently for me to get done tracting, teaching, sleeping, shopping, or going to church. Festus the grandpa bicycle will live on in my memory of hundreds of rainy, dark, cold, hot, damp, happy, lonely, mad, tired, frustrating, silly, scary, dangerous, interesting, historic, and boring miles. All that survives of the gallant steed is his bell and the medallion that was riveted to his front end. I followed the time honored tradition of the Dutch people and on the eve of my going home I rode him out one last time to a bridge and threw him into a canal. OK, maybe it’s not a Dutch tradition except for the bike thieves and only after they got to whatever nefarious location they ride their ill-gotten bicycles.

This has to be my longest post yet but I know how to post stuff I wrote elsewhere now.

gone to state

The two older kids are in "kasper" for state basketball. Linc as the tenth player in what has been a nine player rotation and Holl as a Piccolo player. I hope they are both having a good time. I listened to the noon game today and SV was playing the East conference champs, Malinda knows who they are, and SV played them for a good solid 3.5 quarters and were ahead much of the time but unfortunately the game went on for all four quarters. SV needs to win tomorrow in order not to come home early and hopefully get a shot at the consolation trophy. We seem to travel to "kasper" alot. Wife has a "on site" class for one of her last masters classes next week and the half of the family that is not going to Utah for a track meet or can travel well with others is going along as well. Got to take Sparky to pee-wee wresteling so bye!

G-man the dirty dozen

G-man turned a dozen last week and yesterday I ordained him a deacon. We also got a new bishopric for the two ward. T. Hastings is the new bishop and his two counselors are K. Ealy and D. Kennington. The old one had been in for five and a half years. That takes our young men's president, Sunday school president, and second counselor in the elders quorum. Also this takes two of our best home teachers and makes them High priests. I personally think the H.P.'s are jealous of the Elders H.T. percentage. They also took one of our best H.T.ers and made him a H.P. at our last stake conference. That makes three of our "strong" HT's gone!

top 10 advantages to being left handed

Top 10 advantages to being left handed

10. Lots of fun jokes from your right handed friends.

9. Being able to smear your writing as you write with a pencil.

8. Having your handedness slighted at every opportunity.

7. Throwing off sports opponents timing.

6. Being the member of a minority.

5. Having something in common with the last four U.S. presidents.

4. Entertaining everyone with your scissor use.

3. Being in your right mind.

2. Getting to play first base.

1. Seeing the look on peoples faces after you shake their hand and remarking that most people usually wipe their butt with their dominant hand. (This works best when you are using the "scout" hand shake.)

trip 2 Flori-dah

Stuff from the beach

A room with a view

The Atlantic (behind the hot babe)

Jacksonville sights

ibid

ibid ibid

Wife went to Flori-dah last week on business, at least that's what she told me. She was able to do a bit of sight seeing and got to the beach and picked up a few souvenirs.

New freedom for the youngest

'Leenie got her own bed yesterday. She has been taking naps on our bed and liked the freedom to get up when she wanted and her crib was less than safe, having been through four other kids and several moves. As you can see it's not fancy but it lets her get in and out on her own. I used the mattress from the crib as the size of the bed and drew up some plans using 2x4's and 3/8" plywood along with screws and metal plates. I think she is happy with it.

Cool specks

Willy Wonka's evil brother.

Hang on a little longer

Well if you happen to have had home teachers last month you may have heard the title of this entry. I must say we had a shinning example of this in the last two days. Friday Linc had a JV game and his coach didn't start him (He usually starts JV) and played him like he was a scrub sub. Which is to say very little and pulled him out at the first sign of a mistake and they lost (may or may not be a correlation there). Also when I went to the varsity game which Linc usually sits in on (and I do mean sits) I find him on the bleachers with the other two juniors that usually sit varsity but seldom play. I find out that the three of them have been "punished" for not showing "leadership". Don't worry about understanding because they them selves don't understand. Needless to say Wife and I are mad and frustrated and Linc is baffled. I personally think that his JV coach expected him to be 6'8" and a dunking machine by now and since nature hasn't come through he is looking to younger (yes 17 is old now) players to work with and has given up on Linc.
Well today is a different story all together. In his JV game he scored 12 points and held their big guy to I think 2. Along with making a general nuisance of himself to the other team. Since I think this was his best game to date I was curious to see if they "sat" him for varsity. Well they did, as well as the other two "non-leaders" as well as the other junior and a big Sophomore. Well the game was a blow-out so in the final three minutes the head coach put in all the "sitters". The other team was still playing their best players (the ones that hadn't fouled out) and the five "sitters" played them just as hard as the rest of the team. So like the title says, "hang on a little longer".
I don't think Linc played any differently in the games except in the Saturday games he may not have cared as much about what the JV coach though of him and just played the best he could like he always does and had more fun.
Holl is on the way back from a speech/debate meet in Kasper and should be here about 1:00 am which is why this entry has the date and time on it. I am staying up to go get her when she calls. Oh, the blessing/curse of wireless communication.

Weak in review

Well it has been an eventful week for the family. Monday I went to the funeral of my best friend's sister. Then later in the week was Sparky's first Pinewood derby. Unfortunately he had a father who didn't apply the requisite graphite to the wheels so he came in last in all his "official" races. He did however beat his buddies car that wasn't part of the official races. Saturday Wife went with her after-school bunch to a chess tournament in Green River. We also had Stake conference this weekend. I'm doing a part time job of maintaining the town's ice rink on weekends. This involves riding a big broom (no witch jokes please) and putting layers of water on the ice. It's OK work except for the late nights and the temperature. I felt bad that we didn't go to nieces wedding but I was also relieved that I wasn't trying to drive in the very thick fog that hit us that day. I just didn't feel good about trying to travel then. I do hope everything went great and I wish the couple the best of luck.

As the ward turns

Well the chapel was less than half full again today and the overflow curtains were once again opened. However, Brother "mayor" wasn't the one who opened the curtain. He was sitting right behind us with his son and daughter-in-law and brother deaf-and-cranky was not heard from. I personally would rather slink in and sit in a vacant seat than make the noise and commotion of opening the overflow curtain.

'Leenie has had chicken pox this week and so I am home tending her. I'm afraid she may have several scars from this.

My best friend's sister, the one who was Big sis's high school friend, died last Thursday and her funeral is tomorrow. She had some life-long habits that caught up to her and was her undoing. In the last month she was trying to straighten herself out but unfortunately it was a bit too little too late. She was a good person and had a testimony of the gospel but was tied down by what she had done to her body.

Sunday, Sundae

Church is such a fertile ground for blog entries. Let's start at the beginning. For many weeks now a certain family, or has it been years, has the habit of opening the overflow curtains to the chapel. It doesn't matter how many people are in the chapel at the time Brother (let's say "Mayor") will open the curtains to the overflow. Last week the chapel was about half full and the meeting had not started yet when Brother "Mayor" started to open the overflow curtain when Brother "old and doesn't care what people think of him anymore" yelled out (he's also quite deaf) "Don't open that! Don't open that!". Brother "Mayor" proceeded to open it none the less. The entire population of the chapel had a grin on their faces along with the Bishopric on the stand. Today I was eager to see round two. Well it was a let down. Brother "Mayor" meekly and quietly took a seat about three rows up from the back and Brother "old, deaf and cranky" was nowhere to be heard. ... and that's how the ward turns. Tune in next week for the continuing story of "As the ward turns".

My bad

Due to budget constraints and lack of communication with corporate (Wife), the calendars have not even been sent yet. Monday is the target date for this to happen. Sorry Big Sis for always not having the calendars there for your birthday and it looks as if the Gillette folks will not have been recognized as well.
G-man has been out of school all of last week due to what looks suspiciously like Chicken Pox but Doc Perks called it "Fifths Disease". So far no one else has gotten it and he appears to be over it.
Linc was gone for three days to a ball tournament where he didn't play any varsity(1-2). He had the chance to play in the last game but his ham string caused him trouble in the JV game so he felt he wasn't 100% and declined. On the way home last night "his" car quit on main street by the pizza place and he had to walk the remaining 3-4 blocks home. It would have been good for him to have had our cell phone (hidden on the counter) as it was about 10 degrees out and he only had a light jacket. I suspect a faulty fuel pump and Linc may be a pedestrian for a few day until we are in a position to get it fixed.

Did you get it?

I'm just wondering if you have gotten your calendar yet?

There was a problem with the January photo. Apparently the print shop people decided that the January picture looked better as the cover art. Well it should look better because there wasn't any cover art and now there isn't a January picture. This was the case for both sides of the family so it wasn't just a random mistake it was malicious!

'Monies 'Monies

Today being the first Sunday of the first month of the new decade there were perhaps a greater number of people wanting to say something in Sacrament meeting. Over the years I have developed some classifications for the various oratories that take place on the first Sunday of each month. Here are my humble and largely sarcastic classifications.

• Testimony - A straight forward stating of ones beliefs and convictions. (as it should be) Wife is great at this.
• Thankfullmoney - Usually given by a child under the age of 25. I goes along these lines but I have yet to hear it verbatim. "I like to bare my testimony, I know the church is true. I'm thankful for my family and all the things they do!"
• Talkimony - These are from people that the bishopric avoids asking to give talks. The first Sunday of the month gives these people the chance to give a talk in church on what ever subject they choose and take as long as they want. If the audience is lucky it's coherent.
• Travelmony - These are usually given by older people who feel the need to explain there whereabouts for the last month.
• Agendamony - These are usually given by people who have an ax to grind or a political cause to forward. We had one of these today and she did use scripture and managed not to mention the Constitution Party but it was like a game of "Taboo" where she said anything but "Constitution Party".
• Senileamoney - These are given by good stalwart and totally insane members who can't seem to string together a complete coherent sentence and usually involves sobbing at some point.
• Shockimony - This is delivered by someone you would never expect to get up in front of a church group and express a sincere and heart felt testimony. this makes sitting in the meeting listening to all the other "monies" worth it.

Sparky the new member

Sparky was baptized today by his big brother Linc and I had the honor to confirm him. The I.F. families couldn't make it here owing to weather and other things. Sparky had his two friends there and he has had a smile on his face all day long.

The year 2009 has gone and I say GOOD RIDDANCE!

Sorry, bro-in-Tooele, family stuff can be a pain.